What Ifs...(FINALLY!)

What If...

a big red arrow appeared over your head every time you farted and lasted until the smell was gone?
cars were powered by farts?
Taco Bell and White Castle didn't make you fart?
Harlod and Kumar went to Taco Bell instead of White Castle?
I had super powers, would I be good, evil, anti-hero?
Moby wasn't bald, would he be as cool?
my parents loved me?
I loved my parents?
my thoughts could materialize?
the end of the world was tomorrow?
I was a wanted criminal?
everyone looked like Larry King (yes even women)?
no oxygen existed on earth starting.............NOW?!
I was the last man on earth?
the U.S. truly practiced freedom?
computers used humans to access the internet and play games?
pokemon were real?!?! I CHOOSE YOU PIKACHUUUU!
there was always a chance that wild spider-monkeys would chase you when you left the house? - wicked awesome
I could tell what the fuck women were thinking?
this assignment was 20 instead of 50 "What Ifs..."? - I'd be done by now
I didn't procrastinate from this point on in my life?
I was the last human on earth?
you didn't need to work to live comfortably, would society crumble?
I did turn into what I ate?
I had to "pass" what I ate without it being digested? yikes
ninjas and pirates ruled the earth?
Skrulls existed and our teacher was one of them?
blogs didn't exist, would our class have assignments?
I ran out of What Ifs?

JUST KIDDING

the prohibition hadn't failed?
we could use 100% of our brain's potential?
those stupid little croc shoes were created by Nancy Grace (spawn of satan) to capture your soul, would people still wear them?
higher education was actually affordable to everyone?
I could pick up the phone and dial God's number?
this person next to me took a shower every once and awhile? It really could do them some good.
you actually read all of these?
everything in the Bible was true/literal?
the earth was going through a global cooling?
sex was painful/unenjoyable (jokes aside)? Would we reproduce strictly based on the premise that we need to keep our species alive?
I had a bazillion-million-kajillion-infinity^10-ninety dollars?
my dog could talk to me?
cats were cool?
I HAD COMPLETE PEACE OF MIND?
this assignment was 44 instead of 50 "What Ifs..."? - I'd be done by now
your actions had no consequences?
I was Eddie Vedder, would you like me any better?
I had never been born at all?
my car was a TRANSFORMER! fawk yea!
I had no doubts?
this assignment was 50 instead of 50 "What Ifs..."? - I'd be done by...oh wait.